Monday, June 14, 2004

 

Quota Is Filled, Commissar Is Thrilled

We have a 93% productivity bogie, meaning you had darned well be billing 1934.4 hours out of every 2080 hour work year,. Doing some math (we find that if a reasonably senior person takes all of his entitled time (four weeks vacation and ten holidays) he's automatically in the hole for 13 working days. A more junior person with 3 weeks' vacation is only in the hole for seven working days if he takes all of the time entitled to him. Now, we need to add in a reasonable amount of time for doing administrivia (assessments, mandatory meetings, and other assorted non-productive time wasters that give Junior Captains Of Industry ample opportunity to harrumph how well they can report on their minions), plus a few sick days (as no human can keep up this sort of pace and not have some bug take him down) and my average co-worker could find themselves something like 25 days in the hole toward their bogie.

And as Ivan Denisovich found, being sick is not necessarily an escape from work. You might not get sent to the Socialist Community Development that day, but damn sure the phone will ring one hour after your procedure (be it endoscopy, arthroscopy, angioplasty or childbirth) is over, with a question deemed vital by someone that could easily have been answered if they RTFM'd, listened to you in the first place, or just applied simple logical induction or deduction (or given the eighth and ninth layers of the OSI model, exegesis or eisegesis).

The scorecard for serious medical conditions incurred on projects that I'm aware of include two heart attacks (both fortunately non-fatal), four cases of pneumonia, three cases of serious gastrointestinal problems and innumerable sleep disorders.

The old joke about mothers-in-law not getting ulcers because they're carriers applies equally well to project managers. I suppose someone will eventually question the ultimate shareholder value (is that immanentizing the monetary eschaton?).

Today's turning out to be a real mofo....

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