Thursday, September 30, 2004

 

Une exercice de feu chinois

Chinese Fire Drill today, with a harrumphing sales type demanding a conference call at 4 because El Exigente (The Demanding Customer) is meeting with us on Monday afternoon, and he wants to make sure we send the right message. Needless to say this has resulted in my needing to craft various documents and Powerpoints with lots of instantiations of "synergy", "gap analysis", "remediation" and a ton of weasel words beloved by salespeople with absolutely no concept of technology or business. It also ends up absolutely clobbering any bandwidth I had at all today (not that today's all that enjoyable, as that cold from last week is returning with a vengeance and is bordering on bronchitis if my cough is any indication). Feh.

I must recount one minor amusing story before I disappear back into the realm of bullshit bingo meetings. Over the past few years, we've had some serious involuntary attrition at Respected Employer, and we were somewhat lacking in local resources to do Java development. Now, if you hear the words "Java developer", you automatically assume that will be handed to some guy named Sanjay working the lobster shift in Mumbai, but as I noted in a previous piece, if the code has business criticality, the only offshoring my clients want to do is send it to someplace reachable by PATH or New York Waterway. Since we're light on such resources, we've needed to resort to subcontractors, who by and large have been OK. For one particularly demanding Major Investment Bank, we provided a sub who had a glowing resume and qualifications from another Major Capital Markets Firm. When Major Investment Bank ran this gentleman through their background check, it turned out that when he was supposedly at Major Capital Markets Firm he was actually incarcerated for manslaughter. Needless to say Respected Employer has serious egg on its face (and I dearly would have loved to have seen the sales team squirm in the meeting).

I think that my current status can be neatly summarized as
10 Cough
20 GOTO 10

Robitussin. Chris Rock had the right idea.

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