Tuesday, December 14, 2004

 

Road Rants

On the road again, back in my favorite chain hotel near Esteemed Client. Gotta love "preferred travel providers", as I had conked out about 10:15 or so, and at 12:04 am heard some very loud conversation in the hallway outside my front door, along with about four or five nearby room occupants telling the revelers to shut the f*ck up (and slamming their doors). What a classy joint. Needless to say I'm a touch short on REM sleep today and I'm in a seriously grouchy mood. On top of it all, my cold is coming back.

Rant du jour is about the freaking ADA, which resulted in my getting one of those rooms with the handicapped shower. The nanny state strikes again, in that not only does it impose unbelievable costs on public accommodations, but for crying out loud, you can't get clean in one of those freaking walk-ins. No water pressure whatsoever, impossible to maneuver the head the way you want it, and the bathroom floor is soaked until everything hits the drain. It's like being in France. Ever see a crummy French picture called "Pret A Porter"? They called it "Ready To Wear" in the Americanized version. Some allegedly funny plot about the fashion industry. About as funny as a migraine in actuality. Anyway, there's one scene in the movie where some of the characters are checking into a Paris hotel, and my wife and I looked at each other in amazement and realized that this was an establishment that we actually spent a night in (it's located right off the Etoile, if you're curious; I flatly refuse to call it Place Charles De Gaulle). Said establishment was not air conditioned and of course being about 10 paces from the Arc De Triomphe had a load of traffic noise. We figured, OK, one night, not so bad. Then we got a look at the bathroom. There was a tub and some odd contraption for taking a shower attached to it, unfortunately said contraption didn't permit actually standing up and holding it, therefore if you wanted to take a shower you had to either lie in the tub or sit on your knees. The French attitude towards personal cleanliness strikes again. Apparently my hotel is nearly full up, so there's precious little selection, but for crying out loud, this is about the 12th time in the last year I've gotten stuck with these ferkackte handicapped rooms on various business trips.

It's too early, haven't had any coffee yet, so no Scott Peterson commentary. I presume he'll take a breather one of these years.....

And you know what I hate the most about being on the road at this time of the year? The Christmas music with all the lyrics about being home for the holidays being played incessantly. Last night in the hotel restaurant I was sitting at a table by myself devouring my dinner when the Ronette's great version of "Frosty The Snowman" came on as background music. I thought I was going to burst out in tears from being away from home....

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