Tuesday, December 28, 2004

 

Rolling Stone Nonsense

I suppose that my venom has been somewhat transmuted due to holiday cheer, at least as of this moment, however, sufficient spleen and bile will be reserved for next week. A new toy arrives tomorrow, and there will be at least a quickie report on it on Thursday (so please bear with me as it probably won't post till later in the day; potential exists for a field trip on Thursday with a good friend to check out other toys, so there may be additional pithy commentary added to said report).

Blogcritics points us to Rolling Stone's opinion of who are the 100 best guitarists of all time. The list is reproduced here, along with the expected trenchant comment (those deserving of trenchant comment will be noted in italics, since I'm too lazy to do any fancy formatting at the moment):

1 Jimi Hendrix
2 Duane Allman of the Allman Brothers Band
3 B.B. King
4 Eric Clapton

No disagreements here, save rankings.

5 Robert Johnson

Important historical figure, but lacks the technical chops.

6 Chuck Berry
7 Stevie Ray Vaughan

No disagreements here, save rankings.

8 Ry Cooder

Great chops, but thoroughly boring


9 Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin
10 Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones

No disagreements here, save rankings.

11Kirk Hammett of Metallica
12 Kurt Cobain of Nirvana

No fucking way.

13 Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead

Boring.

14 Jeff Beck
15 Carlos Santana

No disagreements here, save rankings.

16 Johnny Ramone of the Ramones
17 Jack White of the White Stripes
18 John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers

No fucking way.

19 Richard Thompson
20 James Burton
21 George Harrison
22 Mike Bloomfield
23 Warren Haynes
24 The Edge of U2
25 Freddy King

No disagreements here, save rankings.

26 Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave

No fucking way
.

27 Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits

No disagreements here, save rankings.

28 Stephen Stills
29 Ron Asheton of the Stooges

Are they kidding?


30 Buddy Guy
31 Dick Dale
32 John Cipollina of Quicksilver Messenger Service

No disagreements here, save rankings.

33 & 34 Lee Ranaldo, Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth

Boring.

35 John Fahey
36 Steve Cropper of Booker T. and the MG's
37 Bo Diddley
38 Peter Green of Fleetwood Mac
39 Brian May of Queen
40 John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival
41 Clarence White of the Byrds
42 Robert Fripp of King Crimson

No disagreements here, save rankings.

43 Eddie Hazel of Funkadelic

Unfortunately I don't know his work well enough, but a great R&B rhythm player is always a pleasure to listen to. Give him a provisional pass.

44 Scotty Moore
45 Frank Zappa
46 Les Paul
47 T-Bone Walker
48 Joe Perry of Aerosmith
49 John McLaughlin
50 Pete Townshend
51 Paul Kossoff of Free
52 Lou Reed
53 Mickey Baker
54 Jorma Kaukonen of Jefferson Airplane
55 Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple

No disagreements here, save rankings.

56 Tom Verlaine of Television

Nope. No way
.

57 Roy Buchanan
58 Dickey Betts

No disagreements here, save rankings.

59 & 60 Jonny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien of Radiohead

Next victims, please
.

61 Ike Turner

Historically important as a songwriter, performer and wife beater, yes. Not important as a guitar player.


62 Zoot Horn Rollo of the Magic Band
63 Danny Gatton
64 Mick Ronson
65 Hubert Sumlin
66 Vernon Reid of Living Colour
67 Link Wray

No disagreements here, save rankings.

68 Jerry Miller of Moby Grape

Thank you for playing, and there'll be some lovely parting gifts for you
.

69 Steve Howe of Yes
70 Eddie Van Halen
71 Lightnin' Hopkins

No disagreements here, save rankings.

72 Joni Mitchell
73 Trey Anastasio of Phish

As far as Joni goes, great songwriter, but not from the guitar legends. Trey? Boring.

74 Johnny Winter

No disagreements here, save rankings.

75 Adam Jones of Tool
76 Ali Farka Toure
77 Henry Vestine of Canned Heat

Next!


78 Robbie Robertson of the Band

No disagreements here, save rankings.

79 Cliff Gallup of the Blue Caps

Be-Bop-A-Lu-La, then what?

80 Robert Quine of the Voidoids

Must've been reading the Village Voice too often


81 Derek Trucks
82 David Gilmour of Pink Floyd
83 Neil Young
84 Eddie Cochran
85 Randy Rhoads
86 Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath

No disagreements here, save rankings. Interesting that Rhoads and Iommi came in so close together. I well remember the Randy Rhoads cult that Guitar Player fostered during his brief career.

87 Joan Jett

Joanie, we love ya, but as an important guitarist?


88 Dave Davies of the Kinks

No disagreements here, save rankings.

89 D. Boon of the Minutemen

Who?

90 Glen Buxton of Alice Cooper

Mneh.

91 Robby Krieger of the Doors
92 & 93 Fred "Sonic" Smith, Wayne Kramer of the MC5
94 Bert Jansch

No disagreements here, save rankings.

95 Kevin Shields of My Bloody Valentine

Nope.

96 Angus Young of AC/DC
97 Robert Randolph
98 Leigh Stephens of Blue Cheer

No disagreements here, save rankings.

99 Greg Ginn of Black Flag
100 Kim Thayil of Soundgarden


Where do we keep those lovely parting gifts?

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