Thursday, March 17, 2005
Beastly bore being a pundit....
100. Xena - One tough broad. Boring show.
99. Monk - Who?
98. Steve Urkel - One note gag. Worked for about half an episode.
97. Dr. Smith - Seriously annoying character, however, Jonathan Harris was a real gentleman.
96. Artie - Which Artie, Bucco?
95. Doug Ross - Who?
94. Vic Mackey - See #95
93. Maynard G Krebs - Absolutely cosmic. Should be much higher on the list.
92. Agent Dale Cooper - Nope.
91. Caine - Unless they're talking about Howard Caine.....
90. Herman Munster - Gold-hearted ghoul should be much higher on the list.
89. Lt. Castillo - Quien?
88. Jamie Somers - Cute. No substance.
87. Gomez & Morticia - Way too low on the list. They smoldered!
86. Maxwell Smart - Also way too low.
85. Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin - Forgot about them, it's been so long. Yep.
84. Bob Hartley - Should be much higher.
83. Vinnie Barbarino - One note joke. Got old within a year.
82. Gil Grissom & Catherine Willow - Nope.
81. Cast of Will & Grace - Never saw it.
80. Jack Tripper - Funny stuff. About right in the standings.
79. Charles Ingalls - No. A thousand times no.
78. Rob & Laura Petrie - Where are Buddy, Sally, Mel and Alan Brady? Way too low.
77. Dr. Craig - Forgot about him. William Daniels always was very enjoyable
76. Ellenor Frutt - Nope.
75. Ally McBeal - Too scrawny and neurotic
74. Beaver - Iconic. About right in the ratings.
73. Dr. Johnny Fever - See #93. WKRP is still one of my all-time faves
72. Dick Solomon - About right.
71. Dan Fielding - No opinion.
70. Niles Crane - Criminally low in the rankings. Sparklingly funny.
69. David Addison/Maddie Hayes - Never liked Moonlighting
68. Benson - A lot funnier on Soap then on his own show.
67. Jim Ignatowski - Funny indeed. Should be higher.
66. Carla Tortelli - So where's Lucille Toody?
65. John Boy - A resounding no.
64. Jessica Fletcher - See #65
63. Andy Taylor - Iconic and laconic. Where's Floyd The Barber?
62. Francis Xavier Pembleton - No idea who this is.
61. Crockett & Tubbs - Never liked the show.
60. Mork - Wore thin after a while.
59. Al & Peg Bundy - Great stuff.
58. Barney Miller - It was the ensemble, not Hal Linden that made this show work.
57. Rhoda Morgenstern - At times very funny. Aged badly.
56. Mick Belker - Great stuff
55. Capt. Picard - Er, polish your head, sir?
54. Rocky & Bullwinkle - Should be in the top 3. No ifs, ands or buts. Where are Boris and Natasha?
53. Pres. Josiah Bartlet - Bleccch.
52. Emma Peel - Drool. Should be in the top 5.
51. Murphy Brown - Funny when it was first on. Probably has aged badly
50. Sam & Diane - Should be higher in the rankings.
49. Maude Findlay - Aged incredibly badly. Only time she was really funny was on All In The Family (the flu episode)
48. Ted Baxter - A classic. Annoying at times, but an old friend
47. Carmela Soprano - Fuckin' A
46. Cast of Friends - Have I mentioned that I really hated this show?
45. Marshal Matt Dillon - About right
44. Cliff Huxtable - I like Bill Cosby, but not this show
43. Thomas Magnum - OK, I guess
42. Laverne & Shirley - Feh
41. The Barone Family - Who?
40. Fred Sanford - Wilfrid Brambell did it better, and Redd was funnier on his "party" albums
39. Kojak - About right
38. Sgt. Ernie Bilko - Should be higher in the list
37. Marcus Welby - Never liked the show
36. Barney Fife - About right
35. Lou Grant - I've really started to dislike Ed Asner, so I can't be objective about the character
34. Kermit & Miss Piggy - Never cared for it
33. Maverick - Ancient history
32. Scully & Mulder - Never cared for it
31. Samantha Stephens - Drool
30. Det. Lenny Briscoe - Never watched the show
29. Alex Keaton - Got annoying after a while
28. Perry Mason - Just about right. Best theme music ever on TV
27. Ann Marie - No. Extremely annoying.
26. Frasier Crane - Literate. Funny. Longevity. Great character.
25. Joe Friday - An icon. Just the facts....
24. Louis DePalma - Funny indeed
23. Andy Sipowicz - I still think Franz's best turn was as Benedetto on Hill Street Blues. Do the right thing, Sal....
22. Richard Kimble - Never cared for the show
21. Mr. Spock - Most illogical positioning. Should be up in the top 10
20. Ed Norton - Top 5. No question about it. The man defines cosmic.
19. Eric Cartman - Not my cup of tea.
18. Roseanne - No. End of discussion.
17. Jim Rockford - Never a favorite, but I always liked James Garner
16. George Jefferson - About right, maybe a touch lower in the rankings.
15. J.R. Ewing - Nope. Hated the show.
14. Hawkeye Pierce - Too freaking preachy after the first season.
13. Buffy - Nope.
12. Edith Bunker - Remember the dumb Mama Bear in the Warner Brothers Three Bears cartoons? That's Edith Bunker. All In The Family is an immediate channel-changer for me
11. Carrie Bradshaw - Should be a lot lower in the rankings
10. Tony Soprano- Top 3.
9. Capt. James T. Kirk - About right
8. Mary Richards - About right (I still love the line when her mother says to her father "Don't forget to take your pill" and both of them answer "I won't")
7. Lt. Columbo - Iconic, but I think about ten notches lower is right.
6. Seinfeld Cast - Should be top 5.
5. Homer Simpson - Somewhere in the top 15, not this high
4. The Fonz - Way lower down, in the 70s or 80s
3. Lucy Ricardo - An icon. Top ten for sure. Grating after a while. Needs some distance.
2. Ralph Kramden - Top 3.
1. Archie Bunker - Yeah, groundbreaking and all that. The show has aged horribly.
And just to stick my own two pfennigs in about some other egregious omissions:
- Toody and Muldoon ("Car 54 Where Are You")
- Doberman ("Sgt. Bilko")
- The Beverly Hillbillies
- Lurch ("The Addams Family")
- 99 ("Get Smart" - and no, 99's real name was not Susan Hilton)
- Siegfired ("Get Smart")
- Sgt. Schultz and Col. Klink ("Hogan's Heroes")