Wednesday, May 04, 2005

 

And I Thought It Was Going To Be A Dull Day....

Someone on Blogcritics posted about the Discovery Channel naming its 100 Greatest Americans, and a cursory look through it inflamed me enough to dissect it at bit. Oh, there are the usual good guys on there, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and I shan't bother those good people who deservedly are on this list, but there are several whoppers that need to be skewered.

Muhammad Ali - Stood up for his principles, true. Rosa Parks he ain't.
Maya Angelou - The Vogons write better poetry.
Lucille Ball - Yeah she was funny. She was also a Communist. Also clueless - she thought Star Trek, a series which she had a business stake in, was about entertainers in the South Seas.
Johnny Carson - Yeah he was funny. But one of the greatest Americans ever?
Cesar Chavez - So where's Albert Shanker?
Hilary Clinton - Don't get me started.....
Tom Cruise - Appeared as a Navy fighter pilot in a movie. Risky Business. What else?
Ellen DeGeneres - Yeah, she's funny. I liked her shtick on the dinosaur ride at Epcot. But one of the 100 Greatest Americans just because of who she prefers to sleep with?
Thomas Edison - Great inventor. Miserable person. Did anything and everything to undercut George Westinghouse, who was a far more important person from an engineering standpoint. His relish in associating Westinghouse with the electric chair was quite noteworthy.
John Edwards - Trial attorney and failed vice presidential candidate. Paging William E. Miller....
Henry Ford - Wonderful peachy keen guy. Just happened to be an admirer of Hitler, spied on his own workers, dedicated union-buster, avowed anti-Semite.
Mel Gibson - Another actor. He likes the Three Stooges, so he's OK in my book, but one of the 100 Greatest Americans?
Tom Hanks - Another actor who's OK in my book. Great supporter of space exploration, done lots of movies I've enjoyed tremendously, but does an actor warrant this honor?
Michael Jackson - I presume they're not referring to the gentleman who reviews beer and spirits (besides, he's English). Real great role model.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis - Got where she was by marriage - both times. Dignified widow. Did a bit for artistic preservation. Vu den?
Charles Lindberg - Another pal of Der Fuhrer's, made the same mistake as Ford by accepting a decoration from Die Dritte Reich. Accepted the decoration from Fatso Goering personally. Another avowed anti-Semite. Had we listened to his views, the world would've been immeasurably harmed. I hope he rots in hell.
Madonna - Another great role model for our kids.
Malcolm X - A controversial choice to be sure, but Dr. King he wasn't. Consider the slobs he hung around with - Elijah Muhammad, Louis Farrakhan.
Dr. Phil (McGraw) - A pop psychologist? Bwahahahahaha!!!!
Marilyn Monroe - Other than facilitating Mr. Hefner's career, I never particularly thought she was funny or sexy.
Michael Moore - Don't get me started.
Barack Obama - Flava of the month.
Frank Sinatra - Greatest saloon singer ever. Hanging around with people named Gambino, not so good....
Martha Stewart - A convicted felon?
Oprah Winfrey - A talk show which makes Lifetime seem like Cosell, Keith Jackson and Frank Gifford calling the '58 Giants playing the Lombardi-era Packers, makes one of the 100 Greatest Americans. Sigh....

To be sure there are a couple of other iffy ones on the list (Brett Favre is on the list, but Vince Lombardi isn't? Sacrilege!) but I'll save those for another dissection....

Unrelated but found on Fark, it seems that Kenya is introducing castration as a penalty for rape. They actually get it - make the punishment fit the crime:

Eldoret East MP Joseph Lagat (Kanu) suggested that rape convicts be sentenced to death by shooting as they were beyond rehabilitation.


Roads minister Raila Odinga said sexual offenders should be shown no leniency whether they were first-timers or repeat offenders.


My sole quibble with this is merely procedural, as I'm a known fan of hanging. Kudos to Messrs. Lagat and Odinga - perhaps we could persuade them to emigrate to the US and shake up certain state legislatures?

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